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Change (acoustic)

by Pax Ressler

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1.
Change 03:08
What can I promise you That won’t someday be a lie? I can’t see the end in view No matter how hard I try For better or for worse I don’t mean to be terse But this rehearsal all feels kind of strange Before I say I do And my kisses miss the truth The only promise is that I will change I will change I will change I’ll be broken, taken apart and rearranged I will change I will change The only promise is that I will change Change, change, change No veil, no something blue No rings to exchange No church will ever do The only promise is that I will change I will change I will change I’ll be broken, taken apart and rearranged I will change I will change The only promise is that I will change Change, change, change I know I’ll never be too old To change the track To have and to hold, you know But not to hold back I will change I will change I’ll be broken, taken apart and rearranged I will change I will change The only promise is that I will change Change, change, change And yes, I know it’s true That you’ll be changing too I’ll meet you in the middle while we change
2.
This is how I look This is who I am You can feel some way about it I don’t give a damn I’m walking high in high-heeled shoes Wearing this dress that I bought used You can heckle, you can holler, but you can’t take the pride that I have inside Left, right, I feel good, yeah Left, right, walking slow Left, right, I guess I could beware
Go back to being scared, oh But I left right when I needed to go (Oh - woah) I love the feeling (Oh - woah) Walking down the street (Oh - woah) This is how I’m healing Scars from past versions of me, yeah, yeah, yeah (Oh - woah) I’m looking cute (Oh - woah) And I don’t care if you agree (Oh - woah) Cause it’s not for you This is a love song for me (yeah) Yeah (yeah) Yeah (yeah) Yeah (yeah) Oh - woah Left, right, I feel good Left, right, walking slow Left, right, I guess I could beware 
Go back to being scared, oh, oh - woah I’ve only got one life to live So I’ll be bold until something gives I only have one soul to be So I’ll keep singing this love song for me This is how I look This is who I am You can feel some way about it I don’t give a damn I left right when I needed to go (Oh - woah) I love the feeling (Oh - woah) Walking down the street (Oh - woah) This is how I’m healing Scars from past versions of me, yeah, yeah, yeah (Oh - woah) I’m feeling cute (Oh - woah) I don’t care if you agree (Oh - woah) Cause it’s not for you This is a love song for me (yeah) Yeah (yeah) Yeah (yeah) Yeah (yeah) Oh - woah
3.
Stay Home 02:59
I remember our first kiss It was on a night like this The moon had showered down its silver all around As I reminisce I remember what you said I tried to wash away the fears in your head The only way to know if this was meant to grow Was to follow where it led Let’s stay home tonight Turn off the light Lay with me right here Out of sight Hey, hold me tight, dear And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re Covered in the moonlight And discover that it feels right Be my lover till the daylight And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re Home, home I remember our first touch The one I didn’t know I needed so much The lapping waves of moonlight 
bathed us through the night Liminal and lush Let’s stay home tonight Turn off the light Lay with me right here Out of sight Hey, hold me tight, dear And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re Covered in the moonlight And discover that it feels right Be my lover till the daylight And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re Home, home Home, home I remember the feel
 The feel of your hand against my skin
 In moments defenseless we sensed that this was real
 Coming from within Oh, let’s stay home tonight Turn off the light Lay with me right here Out of sight Hey, hold me tight, dear And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re Covered in the moonlight And discover that it feels right Be my lover till the daylight And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re Home, home Home, home I remember our first kiss
4.
i’m not a poet nor a saint (or am I both? we don’t know so much about the other yet) but if i had to weave a heavenly word or two and deliver it to your door then i would ask you to baptize me with kisses bless me with glances furtive and profane and make a benediction of my body preach to me your proudest sins and to you i will prophet mine innocent as we are and will never be again preach to me your proudest sins and to you i will prophet mine innocent as we are and will never be again i’m not a poet nor a saint (or am I both? we don’t know so much about the other yet) but if i had to weave a heavenly word or two and deliver it to your door then i would ask you to baptize me with kisses bless me with glances furtive and profane and make a benediction of my body (indecent acts are the holiest of communions) sweet believer i’ve never practiced confession so i hope you’ll forgive this paltry prose and allow me many more excuses to whisper in your ear “amen”
5.
Mermaid 03:02
She never lingers on the shore She goes from water’s edge to ocean floor And from the depths I hear her song
It’s like she’s pulling me along The water calls me more and more My love is a mermaid She swims with all her might See how she glitters When she hits the light My love is a mermaid She swims up to the sand I taste the salt on her lips Between water and land She draws me deep into the tide Salt water in my mouth and in my eyes, oh She is the ocean’s daughter
Her home is in the water And now she has me mesmerized My love is a mermaid She swims up to the sand See how she glitters When she comes to land My love is a mermaid She swims with all her might I taste the salt on her lips Between daytime and night Breathe in, breathe out The water’s fine Inhale, exhale Losing track of time I don’t care as long as she is mine Breathe in, breathe out The water’s fine Inhale, exhale Losing track of time I don’t care as long as she is mine My love is a mermaid She swims with all her might See how she glitters When she hits the light My love is a mermaid She swims up to the sand I taste the salt on her lips Between water and land She never lingers on the shore
6.
There was a time when all I wanted was to lean, loaf, enjoy my soul You filled my dreams with hot, wet wild seeds I opened up and swallowed them whole  I remember I'd wake shaking hard, fast and slick with condensation   I breathed your words in, I spit them back out Convinced myself it was a conversation  But my body swelled and my longing grew Turned over the soil that was home to you You gave me a voice that I needed bad You planted a seed somewhere deep in me Will it ever flower past a fantasy? You were the best sex I never had There was a time when all I wanted was your sweaty hand and bearded kiss  Between the sheets of paper I felt your ink spilling out in bliss You told me you were with me, in the same time and place Electric and adhesive, filling my empty space Two queers together clinging, my lover and my comrade You were the best sex I never had But what if reality pales in comparison? A man who eats, shoots, and leaves when he’s done? For now I’ll just cling to the fantasy Daddy, don't look down, away from me Are you as good as I dreamed you’d be? The promise of your kiss still drives me mad Paper and ink mixed with grass and earth I’m still deciding what your love is worth You were the best sex I never had The best sex I never had The best sex I never had The best sex I never had The best sex I never had
7.
In the Eyes 04:08
I will take my time Look you in the eyes Say you’ll be mine I will take my time I will stand for you Speak my truth Shake these feelings loose Oh, I will stand for you Don’t burn out The present is the future is tonight Sing us loud The trick is in the pulling forth the light You can take your time Look me in the eyes Trust and open wide You can take your time You will stand for me Hear the words I speak Know just what I mean Oh, you will stand for me Don’t burn out The present is the future is tonight Sing us loud The trick is in the pulling forth the light I will take my time Look you in the eyes Say you’ll be mine I will take my time
8.
If men are from Mars And women are from Venus Then no celestial body Could never come between us We’ll build our home in space Not a planet, nor a ring If we’ve got each other, then baby We don’t need a thing And when I doubt if you and me will get by I turn around and I look up to the sky This love of ours is written in the stars This love of ours is written in the stars Can’t you see us burning while the earth is turning This love of ours is written in the stars When the moon is in the seventh house And Jupiter is trans The planets are aligning And baby, so are our plans But when I doubt if you and me will get by I turn around and I look up to the sky This love of ours is written in the stars This love of ours is written in the stars Can’t you see us beaming while the world is dreaming This love of ours is written in the stars The planets are aligning Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars
Jupiter, Saturn, we’re written in the stars This love of ours is written in the stars This love of ours is written in the stars Can’t you see us shining while the planets are aligning This love of ours is written in the stars We’re written in the stars, we’re written in the stars We’re written in the stars, we’re written in the stars
9.
Young Love 03:01
Young love First love I didn’t know how much I would change Lists of things to say to you Never came out like I wanted to I didn’t know how much I would change It’s strange yet familiar When I look back to then My friend My old friend Young love First love I didn’t know how much I would grow Holding each other skin to skin Losing where I end and you begin I didn’t know how much I would grow I know it’s peculiar That I’m thinking of then My friend My old friend Lately I’ve traveled back in time Looking for clues to tell me why I’m a different person now I’ve changed along the way somehow Maybe you’re one of the reasons why I had to learn to say goodbye To the me I was before The one who waited at your door Young love First love I didn’t know how you and I would end And if we were to meet somehow Would you even recognize me now? I didn’t know how you and I would end My friend My old friend
10.
I thought I knew what life was all about I thought I knew how high to climb I thought I knew myself without a doubt I thought I knew what love was at the time I thought I knew the melody I’d penned Would be the only one I’d croon I thought I knew the way the song would end You were the one to change my tune I never knew the love you’ve shown to me I never knew how far I’d fall I never knew the lover you would be I never knew what love was after all I never knew that you would cling to me In the gleaming of the moon I never knew you were the melody You were the one to change my tune Someday I’ll know the song just like a friend Someday I’ll know the words by heart Someday I’ll know the way the tune will end Someday I’ll know if it’s by death we part Someday I’ll know exactly what love was The love that I have shared with you Someday I’ll know know that it was all because You were the one to change my tune

about

• an album of queer and trans* love songs •

I'm a non-binary, genderful, queer, transgender person.

And I’m in love.

I wrote this album because I have not seen any examples of non-binary love in popular media. Marginalized communities need opportunities to see and hear ourselves in order to live into the future that we desire.

And this album is all about desire.

I wanted to do my part to create a small piece of that representation 
for my communities, for my loved ones and for myself.

If you’re here, it means that you’re a part of that work, too.
Thank you.

This album is dedicated to you, with love.
- Pax

credits

released June 29, 2020

Music & Lyrics by Pax Ressler
Performed, Recorded and Mixed by Pax Ressler

"The Best Sex I Never Had" - Music & Lyrics by Jackie Soro & Pax Ressler
"In the Eyes" - Music by Pax Ressler & Lyrics by Sam Congdon

Many thanks to Logan Ressler for sound consultation and mastering

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Pax Ressler Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Pax Ressler is a non-binary, queer singer-songwriter based in Philadelphia. Their album "Change" was created in the hope of greater representation and visibility for non-binary and transgender love.

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