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1. |
Change
02:59
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What can I promise you
That won’t someday be a lie?
I can’t see the end in view
No matter how hard I try
For better or for worse
I don’t mean to be terse
But this rehearsal all feels kind of strange
Before I say I do
And my kisses miss the truth
The only promise is that I will change
I will change
I will change
I’ll be broken, taken apart and rearranged
I will change
I will change
The only promise is that I will change
Change, change, change
No veil, no something blue
No rings to exchange
No church will ever do
The only promise is that I will change
I will change
I will change
I’ll be broken, taken apart and rearranged
I will change
I will change
The only promise is that I will change
Change, change, change
I know I’ll never be too old
To change the track
To have and to hold, you know
But not to hold back
I will change
I will change
I’ll be broken, taken apart and rearranged
I will change
I will change
The only promise is that I will change
Change, change, change
And yes, I know it’s true
That you’ll be changing too
I’ll meet you in the middle while we change
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2. |
Love Song for Me
03:35
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This is how I look
This is who I am
You can feel some way about it
I don’t give a damn
I’m walking high in high-heeled shoes
Wearing this dress that I bought used
You can heckle, you can holler, but you can’t take
the pride that I have inside
Left, right, I feel good, yeah
Left, right, walking slow
Left, right, I guess I could beware
Go back to being scared, oh
But I left right when I needed to go
(Oh - woah) I love the feeling
(Oh - woah) Walking down the street
(Oh - woah) This is how I’m healing
Scars from past versions of me, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Oh - woah) I’m looking cute
(Oh - woah) And I don’t care if you agree
(Oh - woah) Cause it’s not for you
This is a love song for me (yeah)
Left, right, I feel good
Left, right, walking slow
Left, right, I guess I could beware
Go back to being scared, oh, oh - woah
I’ve only got one life to live
So I’ll be bold until something gives
I only have one soul to be
So I’ll keep singing this love song for me
This is how I look
This is who I am
You can feel some way about it
I don’t give a damn
I left right when I needed to go
(Oh - woah) I love the feeling
(Oh - woah) Walking down the street
(Oh - woah) This is how I’m healing
Scars from past versions of me, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Oh - woah) I’m feeling cute
(Oh - woah) I don’t care if you agree
(Oh - woah) Cause it’s not for you
This is a love song for me (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Yeah (yeah)
Oh - woah
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3. |
Stay Home
02:56
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I remember our first kiss
It was on a night like this
The moon had showered down its silver all around
As I reminisce
I remember what you said
I tried to wash away the fears in your head
The only way to know if this was meant to grow
Was to follow where it led
Let’s stay home tonight
Turn off the light
Lay with me right here
Out of sight
Hey, hold me tight, dear
And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re
Covered in the moonlight
And discover that it feels right
Be my lover till the daylight
And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re
Home, home
I remember our first touch
The one I didn’t know I needed so much
The lapping waves of moonlight
bathed us through the night
Liminal and lush
Let’s stay home tonight
Turn off the light
Lay with me right here
Out of sight
Hey, hold me tight, dear
And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re
Covered in the moonlight
And discover that it feels right
Be my lover till the daylight
And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re
Home, home
Home, home
I remember the feel
The feel of your hand against my skin
In moments defenseless we sensed that this was real
Coming from within
Oh, let’s stay home tonight
Turn off the light
Lay with me right here
Out of sight
Hey, hold me tight, dear
And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re
Covered in the moonlight
And discover that it feels right
Be my lover till the daylight
And we’ll never let go of each other as long as we’re
Home, home
Home, home
I remember our first kiss
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4. |
Confession to a Stranger
03:41
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i’m not a poet
nor a saint
(or am I both?
we don’t know so much about the other yet)
but if i had to weave a heavenly word or two
and deliver it to your door
then i would ask you
to baptize me with kisses
bless me with glances
furtive and profane
and make a benediction
of my body
preach to me
your proudest sins
and to you
i will prophet mine
innocent as we are
and will never be again
preach to me
your proudest sins
and to you
i will prophet mine
innocent as we are
and will never be again
i’m not a poet
nor a saint
(or am I both?
we don’t know so much about the other yet)
but if i had to weave a heavenly word or two
and deliver it to your door
then i would ask you
to baptize me with kisses
bless me with glances
furtive and profane
and make a benediction
of my body
(indecent acts
are the holiest of communions)
sweet believer
i’ve never practiced confession
so i hope you’ll forgive
this paltry prose
and allow me
many more excuses
to whisper
in your ear
“amen”
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5. |
Mermaid
03:04
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She never lingers on the shore
She goes from water’s edge to ocean floor
And from the depths I hear her song
It’s like she’s pulling me along
The water calls me more and more
My love is a mermaid
She swims with all her might
See how she glitters
When she hits the light
My love is a mermaid
She swims up to the sand
I taste the salt on her lips
Between water and land
She draws me deep into the tide
Salt water in my mouth and in my eyes, oh
She is the ocean’s daughter
Her home is in the water
And now she has me mesmerized
My love is a mermaid
She swims up to the sand
See how she glitters
When she comes to land
My love is a mermaid
She swims with all her might
I taste the salt on her lips
Between daytime and night
Breathe in, breathe out
The water’s fine
Inhale, exhale
Losing track of time
I don’t care as long as she is mine, oh
Breathe in, breathe out
The water’s fine
Inhale, exhale
Losing track of time
I don’t care as long as she is mine
My love is a mermaid
She swims with all her might
See how she glitters
When she hits the light
My love is a mermaid
She swims up to the sand
I taste the salt on her lips
Between water and land
She never lingers on the shore
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6. |
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There was a time when all I wanted was to lean, loaf, enjoy my soul
You filled my dreams with hot, wet wild seeds
I opened up and swallowed them whole
I remember I'd wake shaking hard, fast and slick with condensation
I breathed your words in, I spit them back out
Convinced myself it was a conversation
But my body swelled and my longing grew
Turned over the soil that was home to you
You gave me a voice that I needed bad
You planted a seed somewhere deep in me
Will it ever flower past a fantasy?
You were the best sex I never had
There was a time when all I wanted was your sweaty hand and bearded kiss
Between the sheets of paper I felt your ink spilling out in bliss
You told me you were with me, in the same time and place
Electric and adhesive, filling my empty space
Two queers together clinging, my lover and my comrade
You were the best sex I never had
But what if reality pales in comparison?
A man who eats, shoots, and leaves when he’s done?
For now I’ll just cling to the fantasy
Daddy, don't look down, away from me
Are you as good as I dreamed you’d be?
The promise of your kiss still drives me mad
Paper and ink mixed with grass and earth
I’m still deciding what your love is worth
You were the best sex I never had
The best sex I never had
The best sex I never had
The best sex I never had
The best sex I never had
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7. |
In the Eyes
04:10
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I will take my time
Look you in the eyes
Say you’ll be mine
I will take my time
I will stand for you
Speak my truth
Shake these feelings loose
Oh, I will stand for you
Don’t burn out
The present is the future is tonight
Sing us loud
The trick is in the pulling forth the light
You can take your time
Look me in the eyes
Trust and open wide
You can take your time
You will stand for me
Hear the words I speak
Know just what I mean
Oh, you will stand for me
Don’t burn out
The present is the future is tonight
Sing us loud
The trick is in the pulling forth the light
I will take my time
Look you in the eyes
Say you’ll be mine
I will take my time
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8. |
Written in the Stars
03:47
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If men are from Mars
And women are from Venus
Then no celestial body
Could never come between us
We’ll build our home in space
Not a planet, nor a ring
If we’ve got each other, then baby
We don’t need a thing
And when I doubt if you and me will get by
I turn around and I look up to the sky
This love of ours is written in the stars
This love of ours is written in the stars
Can’t you see us burning while the earth is turning
This love of ours is written in the stars
When the moon is in the seventh house
And Jupiter is trans
The planets are aligning
And baby, so are our plans
But when I doubt if you and me will get by
I turn around and I look up to the sky
This love of ours is written in the stars
This love of ours is written in the stars
Can’t you see us beaming while the world is dreaming
This love of ours is written in the stars
The planets are aligning
Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto
Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars
Jupiter, Saturn, we’re written in the stars
This love of ours is written in the stars
This love of ours is written in the stars
Can’t you see us shining while the planets are aligning
This love of ours is written in the stars
We’re written in the stars, we’re written in the stars
We’re written in the stars, we’re written in the stars
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9. |
Young Love
03:07
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Young love
First love
I didn’t know how much I would change
Lists of things to say to you
Never came out like I wanted to
I didn’t know how much I would change
It’s strange yet familiar
When I look back to then
My friend
My old friend
Young love
First love
I didn’t know how much I would grow
Holding each other skin to skin
Losing where I end and you begin
I didn’t know how much I would grow
I know it’s peculiar
That I’m thinking of then
My friend
My old friend
Lately I’ve traveled back in time
Looking for clues to tell me why
I’m a different person now
I’ve changed along the way somehow
Maybe you’re one of the reasons why
I had to learn to say goodbye
To the me I was before
The one who waited at your door
Young love
First love
I didn’t know how you and I would end
And if we were to meet somehow
Would you even recognize me now?
I didn’t know how you and I would end
My friend
My old friend
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10. |
Change, pt. ii
03:27
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I thought I knew what life was all about
I thought I knew how high to climb
I thought I knew myself without a doubt
I thought I knew what love was at the time
I thought I knew the melody I’d penned
Would be the only one I’d croon
I thought I knew the way the song would end
You were the one to change my tune
I never knew the love you’ve shown to me
I never knew how far I’d fall
I never knew the lover you would be
I never knew what love was after all
I never knew that you would cling to me
In the gleaming of the moon
I never knew you were the melody
You were the one to change my tune
Someday I’ll know the song just like a friend
Someday I’ll know the words by heart
Someday I’ll know the way the tune will end
Someday I’ll know if it’s by death we part
Someday I’ll know exactly what love was
The love that I have shared with you
Someday I’ll know know that it was all because
You were the one to change my tune
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Pax Ressler Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Pax Ressler is a queer, transfemme singer-songwriter based in Philadelphia. Her albums "Change" and "dreams" are love letters to the trans and non-binary community.
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